Check out the bromeliads. Cool.
My mum thinks the joke about the eggs 'offends good taste'. What do you think? Should I keep it in when I send it to agents or is it obnoxious?
Only one chapter left of Lucy. Keep posted for it in the next couple of days!
I agree with your mum. You've gone a bit far with Lucas' naivete and it just isn't believable. Otherwise, I've really enjoyed the story and the blossoming relationship between Lucas and Carlie.
ReplyDeleteHey! I thought the part about the eggs was really funny. What I think you need to think about, though, is what your target segment really is. I mean, you've specified "young adults" but I think that a joke like this one would be best with the younger part of that segment. What I'm saying in a not-so-eloquent way is that Lukas' ignorance on the topic might be more acceptable of a 7th or 8th grade boy than a freshman in High School. I'm not sure that a reader his age would be as amused as us by this depiction. They might actually think it's a little juvenile. But then that may just be my opinion... But if it helps any, I was a ninth grader back in 2003 and I think my guy friends (unfortunately) had a better grasp on the basics of the menstrual cycle.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering about bromeliads! I think the egg thing is funny, but very unbelievable. It doesn't seem like their confusion would last that long. Somehow it would come up in a conversation and get straightened out. Is there a way to stage a conversation so that it sounds like Lucas' suspicions are confirmed? I feel like you need to either add more to back up the confusion or put an end to it more quickly. It's sad that there is only one chapter left! Will you post chapters of your next project here?
ReplyDeletePerhaps because sex- ed was co-ed for us in high school there wasn't as much confusion. I must admit I enjoy how the new twists coincide with Micah and Ellia's tale, so I like the egg story for that reason. Luke seems almost too clueless about girls, but as a stereotype for young adult lit, it works. Just be careful. It only works now in that he has made it obvious that he hasn't done anything for health class. Perhaps a birds and bees talk with Carlie's mom would be fitting.
ReplyDeleteThe part about the eggs had be hysterical! I seriously had to stop reading because I was laughing so hard. I read a ton of stories each month and have thousands under my belt....I can only remember laughing like crazy one other time before...and it still didn't compare to the egg bit, lololol. I think its brilliant to be honest ;)
ReplyDeleteEven here in conservitive South Carolina the students learn about each other's sexual development in 7th grade (in single sex classes, of course), unless their parents object (which I don't see Maya and Tyler doing). I will say it is very amusing to sit in with the boys when they are learning about the menstral cycle. The ones who think they are the biggest and baddest tend to shrink further and further into their coats.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your mum. Initially I found the idea quite funny but the explicit detail kind of put me off.
ReplyDelete